I’m probably not the most confident guy in the world, but I definitely wouldn’t class myself as someone who is overly shy either. As a person I feel I am very sure of myself and without a doubt well aware of the kind of person that I do and don’t want to be. Which to be honest is probably the first step to growing in confidence.
I wasn’t always as confident as I am today…far from it actually. In my younger years at high school I often felt like I didn’t really ‘fit’ in and sometimes people would single me out or pick on me because of it. I guess I didn’t really help myself. I dressed differently to everyone else and would rather spend my time doing more creative things like music and writing than playing sports, but even from a young age I was never really one to try and change myself to become more accepted. Despite this though, and as much as I wouldn’t like to admit it, the constant name calling and jibes did leave its mark. Now I’ve never suffered from social anxiety or anything like that, but it did make me more aware of what people thought of me and even today I still get a little embarrassed when I hear my name in whispers.
Thankfully though as I grew so did my self confidence. Which is why I wanted to share some of my experiences whilst growing up, so that you in turn also feel like you can take on anything.
It took me a while to learn that other people’s negative opinions made no significant impact on my life. Words are just words and other people’s opinions are…well they’re just that…opinions, it doesn’t make them fact. Everyone has different personalities, interests and different outlooks on life. Just because one person believes something doesn’t make it the be all and end all. As soon as you realise this the opinions of others start to matter less.
It can be difficult to ignore negativity, especially when you come face to face with someone that feels the need to criticise you in person. Let them say what they want to say and think what they want to think, because to be honest anyone that makes you feel anything less than perfect is not worth your time. These types of people are always seeking a reaction and perpetuating their own insecurities. By not engaging with their hatred and negativity not only makes you a better person, but will also help to grow your self confidence. As soon as I realised this I felt myself walking around with my held higher, caring less about what others thought of me and caring more about what I thought of myself.
As a blogger I am forever on different forms of social media. Whether I'm scrolling through my Instagram feed, looking on Pinterest for some inspiration or using platforms like WhatsApp or Snapchat to keep in touch with friends. Unfortunately a select few use it in a less productive way and instead choose to target individuals. I've had my fair share of nasty comments and insensitive one liners, but in the grand scheme of things does anything they say really matter? They've never met me, they don't know me and would probably never dream of saying these things to my face.
Don’t be mistaken though, I still love social media. It’s provided me with a creative outlet to express all of my thoughts and feelings, but it’s just so easy for those select few to hide behind a screen. I know so many people who would get anxiety from putting themselves out there online to be judged by the world. Luckily I am quite a cheeky and positive person and I feel that over the years I have become so immune to it I am able to laugh off any negativity. If you stay positive and flash a smile instead of worrying what others have to say about you online or in person, you will begin to feel so much more comfortable in different situations and in yourself.
I think the most difficult thing to learn when growing up for anyone, when all you want to do is be accepted, is that you don’t need to change yourself. Fitting in at high school feels so import at the time, but in reality as you get older individuality becomes so much more important. It separates you and helps you stand out from everyone else. Whether you’re applying for your future career or looking for mrs or mr right.
That being said, it’s just as important to accept others as it is to accept yourself. I love watching people being themselves and it’s actually one of the reasons I love living in London. I’m surrounded by so many different types of people all the time who share different believes and cultures, and they often express their individuality through their clothes, personality or interests. Being openminded to different people or anyone that doesn't fit 'the norm', instead of judging others and spreading negativity, makes me feel happier in my own life. I am perfectly happy just doing me and for others to do the same. I learnt that you have to embrace others if you want them to embrace you.
So remove the negativity, be positive and think more about who you want to be and less of what others think about you. Who knows...soon you may find that you’ve grown a little in confidence too.
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